Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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