I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
