I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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