Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize