if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
