I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
