Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
