The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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