i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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