turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
