this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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