Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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