Duck Duck Cougar?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
