I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
