we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize