As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
