Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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