yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
