So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
