He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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