Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He passed out mid-signature
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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