i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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