I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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