my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
