the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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