I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I need to calm my uterus...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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