remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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