it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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