I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
