didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
