I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
