so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
