every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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