I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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