end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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