All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
