..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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