I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't you send me to vm
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
