I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
