And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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