We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
