Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I had to cum in my sink.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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