Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
