He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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