This is not my ceiling
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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