Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize