I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
