You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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