They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
