Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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