She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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