It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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