i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
