She's JV to your varsity
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
