My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
