that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You did what with his pubic hair?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
