Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
