I faked an abortion last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
BRING THE BAGELS
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
