You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
