at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
