Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
