Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
